You got me a dog?
by kittplopter
Summary: Roy is a Blind Ed's Guardian, to make life easier for the boy, the Colonel ends up getting Ed help of the canine kind. Little does he know, the dog helps with more than just guiding! Parental!RoyEd.
1. Chapter 1

_Roy is a Blind Ed's Guardian, to make life easier for the boy, the Colonel ends up getting Ed help of the canine kind._

 _Oh my god this is my first fanfiction and I'm really nervous, I have never written anything before. I love FMA and have always wanted to do a Parental!Roy Ed story. Particuly blind Ed. I wanted to do something that is relatively peaceful and post-suffering. Though there is some sad parts after this. Sorry this part is so short I just would like to gauge my ability haha!_

After everything the young man had been through, you'd think a life of peace and quiet would be out of the question for Edward.

It was early morning, well at least Ed thought, judging from the call of a morning blackbird out of the slightly ajar window. Being blind meant it was a little more than difficult to tell a particular time of day. But he made due with learning the sounds and smells that occurred only at certain moments. The smell of morning dew outside was a sign, maybe 6? 7am?

He had made his way carefully down the stairs with his stick, from his bedroom opposite a room with a well meaning but incredibly loud snoring Colonel. Ed decided against waking him so early since he knew things had been busy at the office, everyone panicking over paperwork, the usual. That was one thing Ed was glad he didn't have to do anymore, now that he was in early retirement.

"Ten...eleven...twelve.." He counted the steps before he knew he was at the end of the old, slightly intimidating staircase. He couldn't count the amount of times he had fallen down these stairs when he first went blind, damn near broke his neck once. Ed shuddered at the thought and relieved to be making his way to the kitchen/living room. 'Tap tap tap' the stick went against the wall until no tap was heard, and turn. Into the living room he had mapped out in his head. Two couches surrounded a large oak coffee table. He knew the room from before his accident, it was simple, but homely, wooden slats on the floor and brick walls. A large window filled the room with sunlight that was warm and comforting on Edward's face. A small smile broadened. The room was big enough to maneuver without bumping into things so frequently. Using the large bookcases that adorned the walls, Ed trailed his hands gently across the spines of books as he made his way to the kitchen. The kitchen was attached to the living room, only difference being the floor turned to a tile that Ed found quite cold on his socks in the morning 'yep it's definitely early'.

In the beginning Roy had been a pretty crap caretaker by Ed's standards, and they weren't that high...but slowly the Colonel had learned to help out, even when he wasn't around. Ed placed his hands across the kitchen counter and found himself gripping a bag of bread. A knife, peanut butter and a plate were placed neatly beside it. The work of the Colonel, of course. He placed his walking stick down by his side and began work on his breakfast. For some reason he had gotten addicted to peanut butter sandwiches lately. He presumed it was because of the strong smell and texture, crunchy of course. Anything that felt substantial, was comforting. Texture was important to him, it was how he perceived everything around him, which made going outside a little scary. 'Think about that later…' Ed mumbled to himself.

Ed took his plate and sandwich to the couch, making sure not to sit on the wrong one, one was way too soft for his liking and it made Ed feel queezy. 'A couch making me feel queezy? Am I that lame?' But solid really did suit Ed better. Stability was important in any sense.

Ed sat in silence, chewing slowly on his food as his mind wandered. He could hear a stir upstairs as Roy turned in his creaky bed. 'How long had it been now? Two years?' Ed thought. Living with Roy had been a nightmare at first but, as his guardian until Ed's 18th, he had to just put up with it. He had suffered greatly after his trauma, losing eyesight in both eyes at 15 was harder than losing his two limbs when he was just a small child. He was covered in battle scars, but these were the worst. Ed shook his head, almost like he could knock the thoughts enough they would fall out of his ears. He didn't like letting his mind wander back to when he lost the most precious thing in his life, and it wasn't his eyesight.

 _End of the first chapter, sorry it's so short but any reviews would be nice^_^ Thank you! I have lots more to write!_


	2. Chapter 2

Roy knew Ed would be up before him, he was an early riser nowadays and oddly quiet even with the walking stick. Before he would be terrified of Ed hurting himself walking around without his help, but slowly he knew the boy grew in confidence of his surroundings. As small as they were.

Roy remained curled up on his bed, not noticing he was spooning the pillow to his right tightly. Immediately he thought of Hawkeye, how he wished the pillow was her feminine and strong body. A small wiry smile appeared on his face, almost devilish. "As if" he thought, "she'd probably be the big spoon anyway…" and with a groan, clutched the pillow and got up with a few clicks of sore muscles and a stretch that caused him to get slightly dizzy. "Ugh, this is getting ridiculous"

He soon had himself washed and dressed, looking surprisingly smart for how little sleep he had. His team had been working hard on an investigation into possible terrorist threats in the capital and every lead was a dead end up until now. He should probably bring them all some food and coffee this morning, hating the fact he had to leave them last night, but they insisted on account of Ed being home alone.

Looking at himself in the bathroom mirror he couldn't help but frown. Ed still hadn't left the house this month, he refused to budge, even to go get simple groceries with Roy. As much as he would have hated to admit it two years ago, he really enjoyed Ed's company, even when he was being...Ed. But he really wanted to broaden the golden haired boy's horizons. Before the accident, before...Al, Ed was the most confident and outgoing person Roy ever met. As short as that boy was, Roy looked up to his righteous and brave nature.

With a small meditative breathe, he made his way downstairs to where the blind boy sat in the living room. Rounding the corner Roy was about to say good morning but stopped himself at the sight of Ed. Ed's hearing had gotten freakishly amazing over the years, so it surprised him more that he wasn't noticed coming down the stairs, even though he made himself particularly loud for the boy's benefit. His eyes were glazed, sandwich halfway between his plate and his mouth. Roy knew what this was about. Edward was concocting another plan on how to save Alphonse.

Roy made a pained expression, the knot in his chest twisting and physically hurting his heart. He knew he should be kind to the boy when this was happening, but he couldn't help but feel frustrated when it did…all progress lost.

Al was gone, he had been for two years. The accident left nothing of his metal body intact, including the symbol which contained his very soul. The armour was just dust in the wind. Roy saw it himself…

But Ed was in denial. The 15 year old boy had vehemently fought for investigations into Al's where abouts, even while struggling with his sight loss. Edward was convinced he was missing. And who could blame him? He didn't believe his brother was dead because he couldn't see for himself. Everyone was wrong, including Roy. For years now, and after many arguments between him and Roy, Edward had put everything, every bit of money he made and including his retirement money into finding his lost brother. But nothing had turned up.

To Winry's horror, Ed even refused to go to his own brother's funeral. 'Why go to a funeral of someone who isn't dead?' No wonder she doesn't visit that often. Things were way too sour between them after that.

There were only two times that Ed let himself mourn, and Roy shuddered at the thought of choosing which was better.

Denial was more damaging in the long run but...when the poor blind boy tried acceptance, there might have been two deaths in that family. This was Edward protecting himself. And Roy was here for as long as it took.

The first time he was 15, Ed had eaten a chilli and accidentally downed a bottle of fine whiskey, thinking it was water before his brain registered the woody, bitter taste. Roy had spent most of the night holding Ed's golden locks out of the toilet and making sure the boy didn't die from alcohol poisoning. After a couple of hours hacking til his lungs felt like they were burning and nothing but his organs remained, Edward collapsed into a ball on the cold tiles of the bathroom. After a few pants, a quiet whimper left his mouth. With a start, Roy knelt down beside the boy's frail frame and saw his pale lips quivering. His eyes pale like ghosts producing the most stunning crystal tears. He blinked making them fall gently down his face and onto the floor.

Roy thought it might have been just exhaustion and pain.

"Are you okay Fullmetal?" Trying and failing to dull the concern and panic in his voice.

A tiny answer came past Edward's quivering lips "...I know...he's dead" Closing his eyes and letting more tears flow.

That hit Roy like a knife. After 6 months he had finally admitted to what had happened. And now Roy wished he could make it all go away again.

Roy took the small boy by his shoulders and picked him up slowly, leaning Ed against his strong and broad chest. Roy sat down on the floor of the now very sickly smelling bathroom and held Edward in his arms. Nothing was said but Ed buried his face into the Colonel's chest.

There was silence for a long time, until Roy felt small shoulder shakes coming from the boy in his arms. He could hear hiccuping and small little sobs, and as soon as Roy held him just a little bit tighter, the wailing started. "HE'S DEAD, HE'S REALLY REALLY DEAD OH GOD HE'S DEAD…" Poor Ed...poor, poor Ed. That was all Roy could think as he sat there, cradling his former subordinate. He had never heard anyone cry like this except maybe a mother who had lost her child in the Ishvalan war. It was a hopeless, destructive and cutting wail. At that moment he wished he had died instead. He never wanted Ed to feel this pain.

After a good hour of heart wrenching cries, Ed couldn't take anymore, and Roy was pretty sure he was still very much drunk. He picked up the small boy and brought him to bed.

That morning though, other than a massive hangover, Edward remembered nothing and continued on with his search for Al.

The second time he got to acceptance, was a lot more terrifying. He didn't want to think about it.

Roy snapped out of his dark thoughts and faced the present day.

Roy decided to approach Ed and attempt to normalise the morning once again.

"Mornin' Ed!" way too cheerfully and kinda corny really…

Edward's eyes snapped out of his daze and he looked in Mustangs general direction, though missing by at least a foot. You could tell by his flushing cheeks that he was a little embarrassed to be caught mid thought. He put his sandwich down on the plate. "Uh, morning.."

Roy pretended not to notice for the seventeen year old's sake. He made his way to the kitchen and prepared some toast for himself, it would have to be a quick meal, he had to get somewhere early before work and he was pretty nervous about it.

"You seem a little on edge today...everything alright with work?" Edward asked suspiciously. Mustang had been acting strange since yesterday, like when someone is planning a surprise birthday for you, but Ed was pretty sure it was no one's birthday soon…

"What? Oh, yeah! Everything's fine I guess...not really making any progress at the moment" Roy went silent for a moment deep in thought, almost like he was nervous about saying the next thing. "Listen, i'll be late coming home tonight, you okay to take care of yourself for a bit?"

He saw Ed go rigid for a split second almost like he was thinking 'no'.

"Wow waitta have confidence in me asshole...i'm blind, not dumb, I am sure I can survive while you take care of your social life" That came out a little harsher than Roy anticipated and so just nodded "MmHm, sorry didn't mean it to come out patronizing. Anyway...i'll be back later just so you know"

"Yeah, yeah just enjoy her all you can!"

Roy gave a small smile. Edward really did think he had nothing better to do than go on dates. Even though that might normally be the case...it wasn't tonight. This was a mission for Edward.


	3. Chapter 3

_Hope people are liking this so far! I really am enjoying writing these two, and writing a very uncomfortable Roy is hilarious to me._

 _Also thank you very much for the reviews I get so happy when I see them!^_^ Can't wait to get really into the story, it takes some twists soon enough! The next chapter will be much longer than this, this is the last short one as a starting point:) thank you!-Kittplopter_

Roy Mustang had never been one to be nervous about familiarities, he had dealt with terrorists, murderers and mob bosses, but as he sat on an uncomfortable couch in the corner of a room filled with at least twelve dogs sitting like military trained guards all staring at him ready on command, he felt a bead of sweat hit the nape of his neck. It was almost like they knew he didn't know a thing about dogs or how to take care of one. Patronizing in their blank stares. Roy shifted uncomfortably in his seat and cleared his throat. He almost felt like he had to strike up a conversation with them...almost.

Finally after fifteen minutes of being left 'alone', a small rotund, middle aged lady came bouncing confidently through the living room doors. She had a stern but motherly face and wild ginger hair that looked like it hadn't been washed in several weeks. The place and the dogs were pristine, but Mustang could tell it was at her own personal expense. At her side was a pretty, slender little black labrador. She tip toed beside the lady in a delicate manor, obedient and graceful, looking up at her incase there were any instructions to come her way. The young dog was not even concerned with the nervous man in the room, all she was there for was to work.

"Welcome ! I am sorry for keeping you waiting, I hope my children weren't too intense with you? My name is Patrice and I own this establishment" She patted a few of dogs fondly as she walked by, several adoring eyes staring up at her.

"No not at all!" You Liar. "Thank you for inviting me in, and call me Roy, please".

"Alright Roy!" She sat down with a thud on the couch next to Roy, causing him to flinch in fright as her thigh almost sat on his leg. A little close for comfort…skipping any formalities, she began gesturing at the little dog "This is Alex, she's a three year old, purebred Black Lab…" she continued in a chirpy manner, not caring about how close she was to practically breathe on the poor Colonel's neck. "She has been trained since she was two weeks old to obey commands and has been specifically trained to lead a blind person. She is also a stability dog, which means she can help prevent falling and she uses herself as a fall matt incase they do. She is strong and extremely smart, too smart to go to just anyone!" She laughed heartily. "Go on! Say hello!" Roy looked down at the intelligent, brown eyes looking up at him. She nudged his hand on his knee as if to say 'She told you to say hello, come on i'm waiting!'.

Roy couldn't help a smile and reached down to give her a pat on the head "Hello Alex, you are such a pretty thing arn't you?" She wagged her tail in response, looking fully aware of the fact she was being complimented. Patrice smiled affirmatively and nodded as if confirming something in her head. She began talking, a bit more formal and serious now.

"From the forms you filled in about young Edward, it seems like Alex would be the perfect fit for him. You say he struggles with agoraphobia and anxiety attacks as well as full on blindness am I correct?" She continued not letting Roy answer "Alex has some special tricks up her sleeve for dealing with these problems. And for the next few hours, I am going to teach you how to deal with her so you can teach Edward, it would be easier if I could go, but there is no one to look after my children for the next month" She gestured to the many dogs sitting in the room "So it's up to you. Alex should bond with Edward pretty fast as she knows to help the one most needy. Now! I hope you haven't anything planned for the next couple hours! It's going to be a bit intense" She smiled, a determination filling her eyes that made Roy a little nervous. "Um…" had he ever been speechless before? "Sorry but I actually have to get to work after this, I thought it would just be an introduc…" "Are you saying this isn't more important than work Mr. Mustang?" Uh oh..back to formalities .

"N-no I just…"

"Good then! Cancel everything, today you are learning to be a canine master!"

Roy smiled in defeat. There was nothing wrong with a strong willed lady. And the quicker he got this over with, the better for Ed. "Let me just make some calls. Then I'll be back to learn"

Edward had spent most of the day reading the new braille books Hawkeye had discovered in the local library. She always tried her best to find themes and topics that Edward would find interesting, which he appreciated but sometimes there just wasn't anything he liked. He was just not that into some genres, give him science books any day. But there were so little books he loved that were translated into braille, so he settled begrudgingly for the occasional murder mystery and romantic novel. Ed thought he now knew way too much about gooey romance and the inner thoughts of middle aged women than he needed to. 'Of course she'd go for Jack, he's way more genetically superior to Fabian…' Ed mumbled under his breathe, getting a little more into it than he thought. Closing the book and taking a long stretch after concentrating too long, he sat back in his chair by the bedroom window, feeling the breeze blow gently on his face. His thoughts wandered as he let the sun fall onto his pale skin.

His next pension wasn't for another month, so he'd have to wait before he could afford another private investigator to look into Al's disappearance. No one has yet to come up with any lead into his brother's whereabouts. But Edward was not ready to give up anytime soon.

Roy had stopped bothering to argue with him a good while ago, but anytime Edward brought it up, he could tell the Colonel became agitated, as hard as he tried to hide it. He knew full well how everyone talked behind his back about how ridiculous his 'hair brained' ideas were. But Ed tried not to let it get to him, otherwise it might end up with him being alone...after Winry swore she'd never forgive him, he worried about others doing the same thing...

Until then, Ed just decided he would concentrate on other things. It would help if he could go to the market, maybe even visit his old work. Things are dreadfully boring when you find it way too hard to go outside. The last time he attempted to leave the house, he ended up almost fainting from a panic attack. Everything was so intimidating out there, every sound was overwhelming and everything was just so...vast. The world span out of control and he didn't know left from right. No...no he didn't need to leave, not yet anyway.

But some part of Ed nagged as the back of his head. 'But what if you could go out? You could investigate yourself? Why are you so lazy and pathetic? If you weren't so scared your brother might be found by now, he might be scared and lying in a ditch somewhere and you haven't done a thing about it, you are the worst brother in the world! how could you! how could y…' Ed slammed his palm into his forehead, banging hard and knocking himself back to reality. He couldn't let himself get into that state of mind, not now.

Roy would be home late tonight, so he might as well attempt to look after himself properly today. Rubbing his eyes hard with his fists he groaned and decided he would go make some food to get his mind in the present. Maybe there was more peanut butter...


	4. Chapter 4

_I had a lot of fun writing this part:D Had no idea what intro I wanted to do, but think this was the best way of Alex and Ed meeting:) Much fluff and corn._

' _That was...exhausting_ …' Roy thought to himself as he stood at the bottom of the stoop that lead to his quaint town-house. It was way past midnight so he was sure Ed would be asleep by now. He'd have to do the introduction tomorrow. In the meantime, Alex could sleep with him. Lacking his usual formal posture, he slumped his shoulders and bent his knees. He felt a small lick and a cold nose press against his hand that contained a leash. Alex, the dog Roy had just purchased for Edward, was staring deep into his tired eyes. "I don't think anyones looked at me with such sympathy before…" he smirked, giving her a pat on the head.

"Now…" he began as he looked up the steps, pulling his brow together and his lips tight "...how is this going to go."

Roy wasn't worried about how well the dog could perform, he'd spent the day with Alex and she was more intelligent than most of the higher ups in the military. Well, the ones he didn't like.

It was Ed he was worried about. Roy had mentioned a guide dog before, but Edward was adamant in his refusal to use such a 'crutch'. It took almost a year to get him to use the stick!

But Roy really did think this was different. He knew if Edward just got to know Alex, and well, had a friend during the day, he might be able to broaden his small, anxious world. Ed had cut himself off from most people, probably because he felt that no one trusted his judgement about his brother. Roy knew he was hurt and angry at people's reactions to his constant search, including Roy's own opinion...but as much as the blind boy denied it, he needed people, he needed friends. He had people who cared deeply about him that could no longer get close to his boarded up psyche. To his own surprise, Roy cared so much about his former subordinate's mental state. So much so, he never thought he would spend hours with tons of dogs, be goaded and berated and made to pick up dog poop all for some blind kid. ' _It had been a weird day'_.

Roy took his tentative steps up the stoop and unlocked the door as silently as he could. He made his way down the hall and up the stairs, not bothering to get any food, he was too tired and Alex had been fed before she left, just incase she was too nervous to eat in her new home. The black coated dog plodded along after Roy, up the stairs, sniffing the air as if she had already spotted Edward, her new owner. Roy stopped by his own bedroom and looked back, realising he could no longer hear the thump of paw pads after him. She had stopped directly in front of Edward's open bedroom door. Staring in silently, she took a tentative paw forward as if to go in and investigate the curiously light breathing.

" _Alex…!_ " Roy whispered desperately trying not to wake Edward. Immediately she snapped out of her previous engagement and continued on to Roy's room. Breathing a sigh of relief, Roy brought her into his bedroom. He was so tired he couldn't even bother taking off anything but his shoes. With one swoop he flopped onto his bed and might have fallen asleep just then if it wasn't for Alex. Only her eyes and half her nose were visible from the opposite side of the bedside. "Come on, up!" Roy gestured, banging the bed with his left hand lazily while closing his eyes. Alex whined and leapt up happily on the bed. Taking a moment to get settled she began turning in circles before choosing the perfect sleeping spot. Finally flopping down and closing her eyes instantly. As tired as Roy was, his mind began whirring after today's events.

Ever since taking Edward in two years ago, he almost felt like he had taken on a son. He was his father on paper, but Ed had never called him by anything but Roy...or Colonel Bastard.

Even if he could tell Edward did like his company, he was still a seventeen year old boy. Roy missed the easy child stages and just got one big, angry, hormone of a teenager. Not only that, but a disabled boy who has had an extremely hard life. He wanted Edward to be normal, going on dates and finding out what he really wanted out of life. Roy felt pathetic and helpless, but Alex was one thing he had felt confident about.

But it was hard, really, really hard.

Alex let out a deep sigh that brought Roy back to the present. There was such a calming feeling about her presence. And with that, his lids became too heavy to keep open and he drifted off to sleep.

Edward woke to the sound of the milkman placing fresh bottles on their front door. ' _4am…_ '

A handy way of telling the time. Though Ed was grateful this time for the rude awakening. He had been having a pretty intense nightmare that left his bed soaked in sweat. Even though he couldn't see, his mind's vision was still incredibly vivid and recurring.

Early morning, 2 years ago, it always starts with him sitting opposite his armoured, young brother on the train. Alphonse is explaining something enthusiastically, but for the life of Ed he cannot make out what he is saying, it all just comes out as nonsense. As he stares at his brother, in the corner of his eye out the window, a blast is seen, but he cannot move his head...all he can do is stare at his younger brother as he breaks apart into a million different pieces, useless to do anything. It was a terrifying nightmare.

Ed took a deep, calming breath and decided he couldn't sleep anymore and was hungry. He felt for his walking stick by the bed, sitting up and swinging his stiff metal leg out of the bed. It had been getting more and more rigid over the last couple months, but he was too stubborn, well, more afraid, to call Winry for help. It might have been more appropriate to say if she even would help.

He stood up slowly and made his way to the bedroom door and down the hallway. Passing Roy's bedroom he could hear the Colonel was home, snoring away as usual. But...there was another snore...lighter than Roy's but definitely there. It took a minute to register in Ed's tired mind. ' _He brought his date back!?'_ He shuddered and was glad he was asleep when they'd arrived. There was no way he wanted that image in his head. ' _Gross…'_

With a sickly expression, Ed made his way downstairs to the kitchen.

Grabbing a couple crackers from the pantry Ed turned around and made his way back through the living room with a plate full, shoving one into his mouth. He took a couple steps into the living room, his feet touching the soft carpet below.

Stopping mid chew, all of a sudden, he felt like he was being watched.

Amidst the darkness, there was a slight and dainty breath coming from the opposite side of the room. "W-who's there? Mustang? Is that you?..." Ed didn't want to sound panicky but when you can't see, it is extremely freaky not knowing who could be staring at you at four in the morning.

He put on a more forward and strong voice, not letting the person know they were intimidating him. "Whoever you are, you better reveal yourself or I'll fucking punch your lights out!" Naturally going to transmute his arm into a weapon. It's not like he could use alchemy anymore with being blind, but he couldn't help the instinct.

He heard a small whine, and then a couple foot steps forward. ' _Was there more than one person? No...those footsteps don't sound human'_ Ed bent his knees in anticipation, the automail creaking with protest. ' _No beast is gonna take me_!' That's it, he'll have to make a run for it, through the kitchen door and out the back garden. ' _Where then you blind idiot!?'_ Not thinking very clearly in this time of panic. ' _It doesn't matter, on three, one...two...th-'_

"WOOF!"

Ed stopped mid running pose and slowly turned back to the sound. "...woof?"

The noise plodded over to him, panting and whining in concern. He heard a thick tail whapping against the side of the couch as it came towards him. Eventually standing right in front of him, were the smells and sounds of a friendly dog. Ed's face went red, pretty embarrassed and stupid feeling.

"W-where did you come from?" Edward squatted down to it's head height and gingerly went to touch the top of the mysterious dog's head. In response, the dog licked his hand and snuffled his arm as if asking for more rubs, which Ed obliged to. "Did Mustang find you? Are you lost?"

He felt for a dog tag, and found a cold, circle on it's collar. He felt the engravement that contained four letters. A.L.E.X. ' _Alex…'_ Ed went rigid, pain stricken across his face.

But then a small, sad smile appeared, barely noticeable.

"So, your name's Al eh?" He continued stroking the dog's ears. It was sad and painfully funny at the same time. "It's a great name you got there buddy..." Ed couldn't help but laugh, a couple tears crowning on his eyes.

As if knowing, Alex put her paw on his knee and licked the tear that had escaped his eyes and made it down Ed's cheek. Though, this only caused more to come. The next moment Ed didn't even notice he had placed his arms around the dog's torso, hugging Alex softly and stroking her back. She was so calm, so placid, it made Ed shamelessly feel like a child clutching on to his mother for comfort.

After a couple minutes of understanding silence between them, Edward released her from his embrace. Slightly embarrassed by his actions he gave the dog a pat on the head and stood up awkwardly. "This way, that couch is way to uncomfortable for you" He took his stick and started to make his way back up to his bedroom, thinking Alex would follow. But she wasn't following, she was heeling. Ed could feel her press against the side of his leg, every step he took, she synchronized her paws to his feet. When he stopped, she stopped. Pausing for a moment, Ed hooked his finger around her loose collar. When he did this, Alex began leading Edward up the stairs and into his bedroom. ' _How does….'_ There were too many things that happened tonight, and coming down from the adrenaline, he decided these questions could wait til tomorrow.

'Al…'


	5. Chapter 5

_I have spent the entire day in bed with the flu, so what better to do then to write up the next chapterXP_

"She's wasted on me Mustang…" Ed sat on the couch, knees up and close to his face, his automail arm gripped around his legs and his real arm draped across the sleeping dog beside him. Playing with her ear and Alex enjoying the contact, he continued with his claims. "...I don't go out, I can't..do much...she wouldn't enjoy being with me…what can I give her? She'd be bored...no, it's not right, take her back today, please" His words wanting to come across level and monotonous but his shaky voice broke through the facade. He gripped lightly onto the dog's loose skin around her neck.

Roy sat patiently opposite the teenage boy, he knew the underlying sadness he felt about saying goodbye to the dog. He had found them both snuggled up together on Ed's bed, Alex's head right in the nape of Edward's neck. He thought they looked like a match made in heaven, blonde and black, that everything would be alright, but he realised just how little self esteem Edward had by his reactions this morning. Ed didn't think he deserved the dog...

Roy slowly sipped his coffee and then placed it down on the table. Taking it all in before replying.

"Ed.." Roy began, choosing his words carefully. "She's been trained to guide a blind person, you are a blind person, and she would benefit you greatly, it's not about what you can give to her, it's what she can do for you. Alex was born to help, it's her job and if she's fulfilling that, then she's happy. I promise"

Edward stroked her soft fur, wanting to calm his anxieties. "But how am I supposed to look after another living thing?" Roy could hear Ed's stress level rising in his voice.

"Come on Ed, it's not _that_ hard. It's not like she's a child!"

That could've been worded better…

The atmosphere changed quickly and Ed looked up at Roy, pale frosted eyes flashing with what Roy could only describe as pure anger.

"And what the hell do _you_ know about raising a child!?" Ed stood up, balancing himself on the table before standing up fully, chest puffed intimidatingly. " _You_ never had a child! You never had no money or no way of looking after someone smaller than you! _You_ were never scared of them being lost or hurt!" His voice was breaking, getting less and less confident as he rampaged on. Roy stared on at him wide eyed and tight lipped, silenced and in shock as Edward berated him. Suddenly, the way Ed was shouting, seemed not to be directed at Roy, but towards himself. ' _This was going downwards fast..'_ Roy thought worryingly. Suddenly Ed began thumping on his own head with his automail arm. Hot tears beginning to stream, he shut his eyes.

"I'm stupid and dangerous!" _Thump_ … "I tried so hard and I _still_ failed!" _Thump… "_ How am I supposed to look after another living thing if I couldn't look after my own little brother!?"

Suddenly, Ed felt two strong hands grab his wrists, preventing him from hitting his own head. "Stop that right now Fullmetal!" Roy's authoritarian voice roared through the panic. Then a more concerned emotion layered over "I never want you to do that again...please".

Ed's voice went quiet, a small whisper "... _I couldn't even look after my little brother…"_ trailing off. He bowed his head and hid his face, too ashamed to be visible.

Still holding Ed's wrists in the air, Roy stared at the teenager distraught in his grasp. He placed Ed's arms down by his side and wrapped his own around the golden haired boy. They kept the embrace, waiting for the boy to calm down. "It wasn't your fault, it wasn't" Roy whispered over and over.

It was strange, he noticed Edward had grown before but, when did he begin to surpass him in height? He was at least an inch taller than the Colonel and his chest and shoulders were broader and stronger than he thought. Roy had taught him how to shave a couple months prior when he could no longer ignore the strawberry blonde beard growing on the young boy's face. But now he really was starting to look like a man. He really had grown up. Ed had always carried himself in a slump ever since he was blinded, which made him look a lot smaller than he actually was.

"Hey…" he started, wondering if this really was a good time to bring it up. "...did you know you are taller than me now Pipsqueek?"

He felt Ed flinched in his arms. That was either the worst, or best thing to say...Pushing from the embrace, Ed looked straight at the Colonel with a blank expression. Tilting his head he exclaimed "Yes" Ignoring the 'Pipsqueak' comment " i've been talking downwards to you for months now..." a tiny and slightly pompous smile forming across his face.

This caused a profuse amount of laughter to pass Roy's lips. "HA! And you never gloated? I am surprised Fullmetal!" Edward couldn't help but join in laughing. Wiping the tears from his eyes. Roy's snorty laugh was funny in itself. Alex had been silent throughout most of the emotional escapade but began barking and bouncing up and down on the couch wagging her tail. Ed and Roy both turned to her at the same time. Ed sat down once again and began scratching her wiggling body "Heh, sorry girl, didn't mean to scare you…" Roy stared on at them both, comforting each other and smiling.

"Edward…I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you, I know what you've been through and I meant no disrespect by that comment…"

"Naw, forget about it Mustang, I was being stupid…" Edward stopped, deep in thought for a moment. "...but if it's okay with you then, I'd like to keep Alex...even just for a bit, you know, to see if she likes it here. But only if she looks like she's having fun got that? If she's not happy then I want her where she would be, deal?"

The Colonel smiled, "Deal".

Roy stared at the boy and his dog fondly, then noticed something a little off about Ed's… anatomy. "Ed...stand up for me, please"

The teenager looked at him strangely, "What? What's wrong?"

"Just stand straight, I want to check something out."

Giving Roy a very weirded out look, Ed sighed and then stood up. He stretched out his arms in a dramatic pose and sarcastically answered him. "Well? happy?"

Roy ignored the sarcy comment and took Ed's arms and stretched them out in front of him equally. "Ed...did you know that your automail arm is a lot shorter than your real arm? And the same goes for your leg…you are extremely lopsided"

"What?...oh yeah, yeah I kinda knew" taking his arms quickly back and sitting down before he could be scrutinized anymore. He folded his arms together and made himself quite small. "But it's fine, it's not that uncomfortable…"

Roy gave Ed a worried look only a parent would give. "That's got to really hurt your spine and mess with your balance Ed, how much pain have you been hiding?"

"I said it's not that bad! I mean, it hurts, but I can deal, there's nothing I can do about it anyway…" He began stroking Alex once more as she rolled over onto her back, content.

"You know there is, Ed. Let me give her a ring and get this sorted out" He went to go towards the phone in the hallway. Ed accurately grabbed Roy's shirt arm and held on tight.

"NO! Mustang, don't even _think_ about calling her. She doesn't want to see me and god knows I don't want to see her!" Roy knew that was a lie. He knew Ed had driven her away on purpose. He had pushed and pushed until the friendship broke.

Roy turned back and ungripped the hand that was holding tightly onto his sleeve. "I know what you're thinking Ed, you are ashamed of what happened, ashamed to face her after what you think are 'your failures'. But she doesn't blame you for anything, and I'm not just saying that. Riza talks to her on a regular bases and she asks about you all the time. That girl still cares deeply about you." Ed's face flushed red slightly at hearing the last part "It's up to you to make the first move and I feel like this is the perfect opportunity for you both to make amends."

Ed stroked up and down his automail arm with his real fingers. It had been at least a year since he'd even heard from Winry. "You sure spout on a lot when you talk don't you?" Slightly annoyed at how accurate Mustang had gotten it. "But what am I supposed to say? 'Hi Winry, we haven't talked in ages but I've grown out of my short-ass automail and need you to build me some more, thanks, bye!'"

Roy sighed impatiently, he had had enough teen drama for the day. "I don't know Ed, just...phone her up and tell her you need her! Or...I'll ask Riza to do it. That fine with you?"

Ed took a moment of consideration before answering. "...I can't, it's been way too long and she's probably going on with her life…"

"Oh seriously Ed just bite the bullet, you can't stay a lopsided cripple for the rest of your life, and you know she's the only one who truly knows your automail needs."

Ed winced at the thought, but Roy was right...he needed to get new automail and there was no other way. He had been trying to keep this at bay for way too long. He made a deep, defeated sigh. "Fine...tell Hawkeye thank you…"

"Good, now I gotta get to the office, just relax for the day, then maybe we can have some fun with Alex this evening" Hearing her name she gave a few thumps of her tail. Roy smiled at her and then faced Edward once again. "Really do...try relax, you are a good guy, and Winry would adore seeing you again"

To that Ed gave a weak, forced smile. "See ya tonight, Thanks Roy"

Roy raised his eyebrows in surprise and then smiled. It's a good day when you can get a 'thank you' off that boy. "See you later"

Roy spent the next couple hours attempting to defeat a mountain of unfinished paperwork. Hawkeye had been managing the team while he was out dog whispering, but she had left the especially painful and boring tasks for Mustang to muse over, torturing his very soul. She really knew how to break a man.

She came into his office with two cups of coffee and placed one down beside the distraught looking Colonel. "Sir...if you had just done this the other day you wouldn't have-"

Mustang brushed her sentence away as quickly as possible "Yeah yeah, I know Lieutenant, I've had other things on my mind"

"As usual sir" she smiled calmly as Roy glared in response. "No, it's not just the dog, Riza I have a favour to ask...will you, contact Winry and ask her to come fix Ed's automail? He's grown quite a lot and is looking like a lopsided idiot" He took a generous sip of his coffee, grateful for the false energy boost.

Riza always looked a little pissed off naturally, but there was a slight bit more of an annoyed expression on her face than usual in response to this request. This in turn made Roy a tiny bit nervous. His second really was beautiful and terrifying.

"Why can't Edward ask her himself? Winry always asks about him."

Sometimes Roy forgot just how close Riza and Winry got over the years. That Riza now had some form of loyalty and care for Winry. She was worried about her friend getting hurt.

"I know" Roy turned and looked down at his black coffee. "He's quite nervous about talking to her, I had to fight him just so I could ask you...I know it would be best if Ed could ask himself but, trust me, this is a big push for him…I think it's about time those two made up."

Riza looked at the clock on the wall and then back to the door. "I think I can catch her if I ring now...but I can't guarantee she'll come without Edward asking for her."

"Thank you Lieutenant, Edward says thank you too, this would help a lot" Sitting back in his chair feeling somewhat accomplished.

"I'm glad, because you won't be thankful when you realise this is only half the paperwork you have to do by tonight, I'll be sending in Breda with the rest of it in half an hour, see you later Sir"

God that woman….

Edward had spent the day finding out what Alex could truly do. Roy had explained a few things in the morning about how she could pick up clothes, open doors and retrieve most objects. When he went about the house, it was a lovely comfort to have these soft paw pads plodding along after him. And when he stopped, she leant gently on his leg. The stability was amazing, it grounded Edward. When he settled down to read by his bedroom window, she put her head on his lap and slept sitting upwards, all just to constantly be in touch with him. Flipping the pages of his book, he felt Alex's breath, in and out, in and out, soft and slow. It synced with his own rhythmic breathing, and soon he found himself nodding off as well.

He awoke not five minutes later to the phone ringing. Alex was up before him, ready for Ed to take her harness so she could lead him down to the phone. He grabbed ahold of her and to his surprise, it was easier letting his guard down and trusting the canine to do her job. She lead him safely down the staircase and to the ringing phone. Suddenly Ed wondered what he would of done without her. "Thank you Alex" patting her fondly on the head. Whoever was on the line sure didn't mind Ed taking his sweet time. He picked it up and held it close to his ear.

"Hello? Mustang residence" The line was silent for a couple seconds until finally a small, feminine voice responded.

"...Ed?"

A lead weight dropped in Ed's stomach. His heart in his mouth. Suddenly his temperature soared and his mouth went dry. Another response "Ed? Are you there?"

"Y-yeah! Hey...Winry." His mind went blank, what was he supposed to say?

The line was silent, Winry obviously thinking ' _is that all you have to say?'_. But eventually she broke the silence. "Riza called...she said you've grown out of your automail and you need a tune up? I can get the train tomorrow since I have no bookings, it's good timing I guess heh"

Ed was blanking on anything coherent to say. If Winry had been here she'd have surely hit him with a wrench by now and called him a stupid boy. Ed would have oddly liked that…

But all he could come out with was "Yeah...I mean if that's okay with you then that would be good…" He felt Alex lean heavily on him, he needed the support more than ever.

"Okay cool, well, I'll see you then. I'll contact Riza or Mustang to bring me, you'll have to prepare yourself too, it's going to be painful getting them changed. Oh, and I'm looking forward to seeing Alex, I hear she's a great dog." Winry was trying, you could tell. But Edward couldn't get himself to play along.

"Yeah she's great. I guess i'll see you in two days then, thanks for coming Winry."

"It's fine, see you soon Ed."

Before Ed could say goodbye, she had hung up. He just stood there, phone still at his ear listening to the dial tone beep over and over. _God I am such an idiot…_


	6. Chapter 6

_I hope you guys like Mush, I love Ed and Roy's relationship. So damaging and entertaining at the same time. Sorry for this being a bit short, it's a small, touching moment rather than anything big happening. That's for the next chapter ;)_

That night, Roy sat at the kitchen table eating the cold leftovers of last night's dinner while watching what he could only describe as a 'one man and his dancing dog sketch'.

He watched Edward pace up and down the kitchen tiles, deep in thought, five steps turn, five steps turn. Unbenounced to the murmuring teenager, joining like an eager dance partner, Alex was keeping pace, attached to his leg like a limpet. He continued on spouting a list of things he would have to accomplish before the day after next.

"Okay, okay...so I have to shower, shave, make sure I have clean clothes…, wait, shave first...or should I get…"

"Edward…" Roy tried getting his attention but to no avail.

"...where are we gonna do the operation...should I clean the bedroom?"

"Ed…"

"I should clean the bedroom...or"

"ED!" Roy shouted, stopping Edward in his tracks. He looked over in Roy's general direction. "What?" Sounding a bit miffed at being interrupted.

"Stop pacing and sit down, you're giving me a headache and you'll give your poor dog whiplash." Ed only noticed the dog leaning against his leg. He had gotten used to Alex's body weight over the last couple days and was beginning to not be able to notice it. "...oh, sorry…" He patted her gently.

Roy continued picking at his food. "Apology accepted."

"That apology wasn't for you, dumbass. I'm grateful for any headaches I can force upon you!" Edward sure was up for a fight tonight, Roy wasn't looking forward to tomorrow.

"Well congratulations you are doing the trick." He got up and started to rinse his plate in the sink. There was silence for a few minutes. Mustang rolled his eyes and turned around to see the teenager combing his golden hair through his fingers, standing with his shoulders wound up and looking incredibly nervous. His face was scrunched up, eyes glaring, almost looking like he was trying to see past his blind eyes and at the hair he currently clutched in his fingers.

That's when Roy decided he'd calm down. He remembered when he was seventeen, and that all he cared about was his looks and how girls perceived him. He didn't think Ed was that narcissistic but it was natural he was freaking out about meeting his childhood friend. And then it hit him, _has anyone ever described to Edward what he looks like now_?

He had grown up to be quite a handsome young man, broad shouldered and lean muscled. His face had stretched and accommodated his now square-er jaw. His features were strong and manly. He had striking eyes even with them being pale and an intense look that made him quite intimidating. His hair had become thicker and had a slight kink in it which created some soft curling at the ends which reached past his ribcage. Ed always naturally had a grumpy face, but it worked and made him all the more mysterious looking. It must be tough, not knowing how you look to the world…

Roy took an awkward breath and scratched the back of his head. _'Why did I take on a teenager…'_

"Y-you know Edward…" _ugh "_ You've grown up to be a very handsome young man and you shouldn't be nervous about meeting Winry…Riza told me the amount of girls who like you in work and it's scary." Roy winced, preparing for god only knows what.

Ed stopped playing with his hair and looked towards Roy, a small bit of amazement in his eyes. "Huh? What? No, I wasn't thinking anything like that...you don't need to butter me up or try make me feel good Mustang, I'm not stupid."

"I'm not trying to _butter you up,_ Fullmetal, I just thought you'd like to know...I dunno, since you don't get to see yourself. I sure as hell would like to know what I looked like." Roy felt pretty stupid at this stage, this was not a conversation he should've started. Though, Edward did seem a bit calmer. He pulled a chair out and sat down at the table, metal hand leaning against his chin awkwardly. Closing his eyes and looking very aloof. "If I looked like you I wouldn't want anyone describing it to me."

Roy crossed his arms in amusement. "What a low blow Fullmetal, I expected a bit more intelligence from your comebacks, pity!"

Ed smirked. "Well I'm glad you think i'm gorgeous, I'll let Riza know I have her beat for your attention." The smug brat. Roy didn't really have much to say to that, I guess it was pretty obvious at this point he adored the Lieutenant. Instead he decided this would be a good time for something aged. Roy wasn't feeling the best, work had been horrible and he was feeling particularly vulnerable.

He searched the pantry and came out with an old bottle of cognac and two glasses. He sat himself opposite the curious teenager and popped the cork off the top of the bottle. "I, am going to have a drink and enjoy the quiet that is this last night. Since you are going to be in quite some pain for the next while, I suggest you join me in the occasion Pipsqueek"

Mustang poured two glasses and then took Ed's hand and shoved one into it.

Ed was genuinely surprised, Roy never offered him alcohol before. "You do know i'm not eighteen for another few months right?"

"Tell me this is the most illegal thing we've both done, go on." Roy took a swig of his drink, savouring the smooth texture running down his throat. "Plus, I've seen you sneak drink before, Ed, I'm not the blind one here."

Ed blushed with embarrassment. Maybe he wasn't as sneaky as he thought he was. He took the glass and put it up to his face, the sweet and woody smell wafting upwards into his sinuses. He took a small sip of the bronze liquid. It was a particularly strong taste that caused Ed to splutter. Roy chortled "Not the usual stuff I let you steal eh?"

Ed wiped his mouth with his shirt sleeve. "Mm.." was the only response Roy got.

They sat in silence together, sharing their first drink in the dead of night. Alex was sleeping soundly at Ed's feet. There was a sense of cautious peace, like a calm before the storm.

By Roy's second drink, he began to relax. Letting his head get a little light.

"Ed…" Roy said solemnly. His named sounding distant on Roy's voice. Ed turned to face the sad voice that came from the Colonel. "what you said earlier today...about me not knowing what it was like to raise a child. Or never being scared for them…" Roy looked down at his hand, concentrating on the lines that crossed his palm.

"Well, I'm not sure you agree, and you have every right not too...I mean I'm not your dad, I never will be, but...I've known you since you were twelve, I've seen you grow and become a braver man than anyone else I'd know. We've lived together for two years now and well, I have been scared, terrified over you. You have gone through hell and back and yet you are still trying…" Roy was starting to ramble now. A side Edward had never seen. He always saw the Colonel as relatively emotionless and strong. That he only gave Ed the comfort he needed out of being obliged. He stayed silent, waiting for Roy to continue. "...I guess what i'm trying to say is, I just want what's best for you, and if I can be any kind of parental support...well then I've done something right. It's not like at 18 you just have to pack your bags and go." Roy had closed his palm into a fist, letting his nails dig slightly into his skin. This didn't feel like it was just for Ed's benefit...Roy had the nagging realisation that once Ed turned 18, he would be out of his life.

"Oi, Mustang." Ed gave a small concerned laugh. "You are letting the drink go to your head here." Ed stood up and made his way around the kitchen table and stood strongly in front of the Colonel. Mustang looked up in surprise as the kid towered over him. Ed placed his real hand on Mustangs shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "You're right, you do know a thing or two about raising a snot nosed brat. And really, for that I'm forever grateful. But you don't need to be scared for me, not anymore. I know by the way I act, I seem unstable. But I promise you, I'm doing well."

Roy placed his hand over Ed's hand that lay on his shoulder. "You're right, Thank you Edward."

Edward nodded. "I think we should get to sleep, come on Alex!" Alex tiredly got up and stretched. She plodded over to Edward and then lead the way out of the kitchen.

Edward stopped just at the door frame. He turned back to face the Colonel. "Oh and Roy, if you want me to be your new drinking buddy, you gotta be a way more fun drunk." And with that, he left the room.

Mustang sat there in the dark for a couple more minutes. Only one real emotion was coming past the alcohol. _Pride._


	7. Chapter 7

_Sorry for the lack of update in awhile, work's been crazy DX_

Those brown, watery eyes looked up at Edward as he lay atop his bed sheets. Her cold nose pressed against his fleshy elbow to get him to face her, but he wasn't paying much attention. Her master was deep in thought. Alex tilted her head, he usually wanted to get up by now and make some food. But he just lay there, silent sadness looming over his tired body. This only added to her confusion.

Fully dressed and ready for the day, he couldn't get himself to actually begin preparing for Winry's late night arrival. Edward still had a good ten hours before she arrived with Mustang, but he felt there just wasn't enough time to be ready. So he lay on his bed, wondering just how badly tonight was going to go…

Alex moaned and made a little frustrated growl in the back of her throat. Taking her front left paw she landed it heavily on Edward's chest, giving him a start. "Oof! Alex!..."He was just about to give out, but then she lay her head softly on his chest and stretched her tongue out to lick his stubbled chin. To that, he gave her snout a soft touch. "Mm, it's hard to get mad at you. If only I had that puppy dog charm...I could get out of anything..."

Edward took his out stretched hands and placed them over his face, hiding as much as he possibly could. He had hit a particularly bad low during the night and still had not shaken it's dark punch. Maybe it was the drink, or the thought of facing his past. Or maybe it was the same nightmare he has every night turning in a new direction. This time, as he sat opposite his brother on the train, he was finally able to hear one or two muffled words coming out of his younger brother's armour. "It's...ft42t%4ve….blame...68&4%gwwb….you" and then the explosion happened again.

Ed felt a lump form in his throat. This was too hard, way too hard. ' _He really would blame me_.' Taking a stuttered, upsetting breath in, he prevented himself from crying.

"I wish I could just run...that I didn't need my shitty, broken body fixed".

His lips began to quiver and this only made Alex whine more. Why was her master so upset? Was he in pain? Hungry? Did he need to play?

The black coated dog took her leave from the bed and began searching the room. Before Edward even noticed she had gone, she had thrown something soft and fuzzy right onto his face. Ed lay there for a second, inhaling the musty smell before coughing and grabbing at the object. "What's this Alex?" Ed took it from his face only to realise by the shape and texture, that he was holding a small teddy bear. He could feel the embroidered eyes and mouth, the patchwork on the legs and a slight tear in the stomach that had some stuffing falling out. "Where did you get this?"

Alex barked playfully on the floor and jumped in place. He could hear her nails skittering on the floorboards excitedly. Ed couldn't help but smile as he sat up on his bed, crossing his legs. Alex continued to bark, her very loud ' _Bows!'_ sounding eerily like ' _Throw! throw! Throw!'._

"Alright, alright! But if this is Mustang's secret shame then I'm blaming you for destroying it!" He threw the bear across the room and Alex went bounding after it. She overshot and slid right into the wall causing a loud crashing sound. " _Alex!..._ " Edward went to get up, thinking his dog had knocked herself out. But scampering back as quickly as possible, Alex bounded over to Edward before he could even get out of bed. She plopped the bear right back into his lap and began barking again happily.

"Haha! You are a barrel aren't you. Okay, i'll try aim for the open door this time."

The next hour was spent with Edward throwing the stuffed bear for Alex, it getting slimier with each turn. Eventually Alex stopped bringing it back and instead jumped on the bed next to Edward. She collapsed heavily on his lap in a heap, panting like a steam train. Even Edward had worked up a small sweat throwing the bear for that long. He leant his back on the bed backboard and stroked her soft, thick coat. He could feel the heat rising off her body and the small pool of drool collecting on the knee of his trouser leg.

There was something accomplishing about getting this dog exhausted. He was happy he could make her happy.

After a rest, Ed decided it was about time they got some breakfast. Or rather lunch, he thought they had been playing there a while. Ed began to get up which caused Alex to awaken quite quickly and get ready for today's work. He found it fascinating how her personality changed once she knew she had a job. She wasn't the silly dog who slid into walls and craved rubs. She was the graceful, timid and serious employee. He took her harness and let her lead him downstairs.

Once in the kitchen he began making up his own lunch and Alex's dog food. He could still hear Alex panting beside him and that got him thinking. ' _Maybe she needs more exercise than I can give her… She needs walking.'_ He took his plate and sat down at the kitchen table, Alex following loyally behind. As Alex munched away on her dried dog food, Edward began chatting to his new best friend as if she could respond. "I mean it's not like I can ask Mustang to walk you, he's always out til late and seems exhausted most of the time...but...you need to get out" Ed thought for a few more minutes before sadly concluding "I guess...if it's for you, I could maybe bring you out…" The thought sounded terrifying to Edward. He hadn't been out in months.

But for Alex.

She had only been here a few days and already Edward had felt more connected to the real world than in so long. His connection to her had been instant, but the more he discovered about her, the more close he felt to his canine companion. Maybe, with her guiding him, Edward could  
make it around the block, _just once._ He knew Roy has told him that no matter where he went, if he told Alex to "bring me home" then she would guide them both back to their house.

But when would he have time to do this? With all hell about to break loose later, and then him being in pain for at least a week after the ordeal, when would he have time to try?

Ed sat there in silence, trying to figure out the best way around this predicament.

Maybe today was his only real chance to see if he was a good enough owner for this dog.

Ed snapped out of his deep thoughts to the sound of scratching coming from the back door. Alex was trying to get outside after eating to do her business. She managed to unhook the latch and push open the back door herself and then pottered out to sniff around. After a few minutes Edward heard her come back in. Mustang had tied a rope to the door handle that she was able to pull closed again. She came plodding back over to Edward happily and sat by his chair.

Edward smiled. He would go get clean and ready for tonight, and then bring Alex out when it got a little later. If he could accomplish this, then maybe facing Winry wouldn't be so bad.

After showering and shaving, Ed spent awhile trying fix his hair neatly into a plait in the bathroom. After three attempts and it always feeling wrong, he frustratingly pulled it all out and just popped it into a curly ponytail. It had been way too long since he had tried to look in any way presentable. He sat down on the tiled floor, slightly exhausted and scratched the itchy cuts he had made on his neck from shaving. He never was able to get a clean shave without Roy's help. He wore one of his white shirts and black trousers that he requested Roy lay out for him on his bed. Assuming the Colonel did what he was told, Edward thought maybe he might not look half bad. Hopefully.

He got up slowly, his automail creaking in protest. Soon it was going to freeze up he just knew it. I guess it was good timing.

As he made his way downstairs, he heard people walking by outside, children playing and cars going past. With only a few more hours until Mustang was back with his Childhood friend, this seemed like the best time to attempt a walk. _Was this just wishful thinking that it would be easy?_

Edward shook his head and turned to his four legged friend.

He gripped her harness and made his way to the front door. The wooden slats on the ground creaked ominously, growling at him as he stepped towards the door. Edward's heart began to pound harder. He bit his bottom lip and reached for the door handle.

Opening the door with a small turn of the lock, it creaked open slowly. Ed could feel the breeze slide in through the crack of the open door and rush through his hair. It felt like ice cutting against his face. It sent literal chills down his spine. He opened the door a little wider.

He could now feel the sun heating gently on his face. The sounds of the people outside also became louder.

Suddenly, something that sounded like a truck drove past, causing another car to blow it's horn in anger. And now, this was too much. Edward turned around and slammed the door behind him. Shutting off the world and all it's noisey glory. Ed slid down the back of the door and hit the floor hard on his coccyx, breathing heavily, sweat beads forming on his forehead. Bringing his knees up to his face, he hid from the concerned eyes of his guide dog.

Alex attempted to stick her muzzle in between Ed's face and knees but to no avail. Instead she sighed and lay down beside him. Ed couldn't help but feel like a complete failure.

"I'm sorry Al…" he stated in a muffled tone. Alex wagged her tail in response.

After everything that had happened in the last while, maybe it just wasn't the best time to push himself.

"Maybe I'll just take a nap instead…"

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

Ed woke with a start. There was footsteps downstairs and small quiet chatter. He could hear the deep tones of a certain Colonel's voice and then a light twitter in response. It was soft and kind sounding, but also immensely warm and filled with childhood nostalgia. Yes, it was her. After so long, she was only a small distance away from the quivering mess that Edward had become.

As he lay on his bed, he couldn't help the shaking in his one good leg. His breathing became ragged and beads of sweat formed on his crinkled brow. His crisp white shirt now a little mottled from falling asleep in it.

Alex raised her head and tilted it, listening to the mumblings below the floorboards of Ed's bedroom. They both listened until eventually Ed could decipher the words 'bed' and 'tomorrow'.

He sighed with relief. He knew it was late and that Mustang would usher Winry to her guest room. He lay back down and decided it was best to just leave meeting his childhood friend til the morning.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

A couple hours had gone by and Ed was awoken by the milkman once again. With the sound of birds and dawn rising, he decided he would rise up with it, taking a precious moment to fix his hair and brush his teeth.

Turning to leave his room, he felt his furry companion by his leg, stop and raise her head.

Suddenly, there was a gentle knocking at the bedroom door. Too gentle to be Mustang's graceless thump. ' _Oh no…'_ He wasn't ready for this, not yet, not the time, just a couple more hours of peace, please.

A small voice sounded through the muffled wood.

"...Edward…?"

' _Oh no'_

"...Can I come in? I can hear you are up…"

Edwards thoughts raced. ' _No, go away...please?'_ his mind kept repeating.

He backed up until he reached the side of the bed. Doing the only thing he could do, he slid down onto the floor and curled his knees up, placing his head between them and scrunching into as small an object as possible.

And then he heard the door creak open, a small footstep taking its first fall into what could only be described as a _Den of Regret_.


End file.
